Dark times and dark skies. There has been quite a lot of rain recently and last night I lay in bed and listened as the rain began to fall. We all appreciate silence and I don't know about you but falling rain widens the silence in a way I find meditatively pleasing.
I'm not sure though I would have heard it that clearly of late as my internal dialogue has been screaming like a banshee and not in the most constructive of ways. My mind is not kind! It took a change of energy to realise just how out of control this had become and just how detrimental it been on my outlook.
Moving forward 'production like' is a kind of auto-pilot for me. Its only when I stop and look that I realise the wilderness I have consuming the world around me. I am extremely fortunate to have Dan, the heart of my world and a great friend living with us, Phil who together are the best friends ever. So I hide and withdraw ignoring the world and consequently friends beyond my barriers.
It's nothing new. Yet I come full circle eventually. I'm sure everyone has these cycles but the distress I inflict on myself reflecting on what the world around me thinks, if they even care is made all the worse my the inner insecurity I have dealt with my whole life.
So here I am again waking from a slumber, who knows the blurring of the seasons may have a part to play I do need light to thrive and the recent glorious bright spell when my straw hat came out rapidly desended in to the damp, dull, wet and unreliable spell we are experiences currently.
I don't intend to hide away and I guess me hiding away makes the external me seen even harsher and bossier than normal. Its important to reflect and remembers what being me is all about. I need to reach out and connect with the amazing people I meet so very regularly. Social media is the constant I felt I always lacked when I was on tour but now I see it in action I wonder if I'm an old dog that can't learn new tricks or maybe my state of being just stays the same. Its a great connector this World Wide Web but as I frequently nurse my workshops with... if you are good at something off line you'll master online too. Howerer struggle off line and on line is no easier. Many people find social media much easier than me. My strength is that I understand the landscape and its value when applied contextually and appropriately.
More and more I'm being drawn in to online audience engagement. The Arts where pay is low and funding is sparce. Did I not learn this working as a Stage Manager?
So people... friends, romans, counrtrymen! Why did I pick the arts in which to make a living? I enjoy working with creative spirits and innovating talents, which are often fragile and I seem to think that strength is a resource I have to provide. This leaves me so vunerable when I need support and I find it so hard to to ask. Why this post?
I have to re-establish an equilibrium. Show Time good... hunting for new new jobs dull. My independance is important I have always been self employed for tax purposed I'm not a natural business developer I am a natural freelancer.
I must pursue opportunies. These are not unknown to me I just find it hard to do everything. Am I supose to be contacting you? Please get in touch. Events teams, do you need digital audience enegagement, on the ground, real time coverage posting to your website or online community presence? This is what I do. I get to know an audience. I'm just rubbish at telling people that! I never approach two projects the same. The fundementals are inhehent... digital coverage, but the audience and the client are alway fresh and unique in my approach and treatment of them. There may be cross overs from previous audiences too. I try to be a real part of who they are. So to end, returning to my dark skies I give alot of myself to my projects and finding like minded clients is key. There is a danger I get lost in digital so bring off line and on line together are important in my projects, but the rewards in the results for project success is worth it. I'm off to pursue those opportunities. Blogging is quite cathartic. Thanks for reading. Should I be working with you?